Embracing the spirituality of the Sisters of St. Joseph

“It’s a way of being. It’s a way of embracing the people around me.”

That is how Toni Fredette of Benton describes her vocation as an agrégée with the Sisters of St. Joseph of Lyon in Winslow.

“For me, it’s all about relationships. The sisters’ charism talks about uniting neighbor with neighbor and neighbor with God,” she says.

Agrégée is a French word meaning to be attached to or connected to. It is a form of relationship to the charism of the Sisters of St. Joseph that goes back to the days of the congregation’s founding in 17th-century France. At that time, there were canonically vowed sisters and so-called agrégée sisters, who lived according to the rules of the sisters but did not take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. Over time, agrégées disappeared from the congregation, but after Vatican II, the agrégée relationship was revived among some Sisters of St. Joseph communities in the United States and Canada. There are now more than 60 vowed agrégées, with Toni being the first from Maine.

“This is basically a vocation for women who feel deeply drawn to the charism of unity and reconciliation but who do not have a call to religious life. Yet, they are seeking something more than the associate relationship,” says Sister Judy Donovan, CSJ, general superior of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Lyon. “This relationship is a non-canonical relationship via a private, lifelong vow of fidelity to the charism and the congregation in the spirit of the Gospel.”

“It’s a lifetime commitment, so you want to make sure you realize the gravity of that vow and are ready for such a lifetime commitment,” says Toni.

The fact that the commitment is lifelong is one of the ways agrégées differ from lay associates, who also seek to live out the charism of the sisters in their daily lives.

“Agrégées, in addition to what associates do, have a relationship among each other. The agrégées in the country have Zoom gatherings and physical gatherings. They will have retreats. They might have a more intense engagement with the mission of the congregation in terms of their living the charism in the world. And because it’s lifelong and a little more intense, their relationship to the congregation is just of a different character,” says Sister Judy.

For Toni, preparation to become an agrégée spanned two years, but for some, it can be even longer.

“There is much internal searching, but there’s also an outward piece that is learning how to be in community, even though the relationship is “with” the community. There is this way of learning and growing into relationship with the community and being part of the community in a particular way,” says Toni. “There’s very much learning about yourself and how you embrace your faith and your spirituality and your relationships, and learning about the sisters, their charism, and the many different ways they live that charism apostolically. It’s a long process and it has many steps. It was amazing to me at the end of the two years to see all the areas that we had covered.”

Toni says she came to know the Sisters of St. Joseph after going through a period of exploration in her life. Her parents had left the Church when she was a child, so she was not practicing, but through some conversations with a friend, she returned to the Church, was confirmed, and began regularly attending Mass.

“Through an invitation of my friend, Sarah [Sirois], I started to really, seriously, be comfortable with exploring, embracing my faith as deeply as possible within the framework of where I am in my life. And so, basically, I wanted more,” she says. “I was going to church seven days a week, going to Mass, but looking for other things, maybe Bible study or something else.”

She attended a program offered by the Sisters of St. Joseph at the St. Joseph Center in Winslow and says she experienced a level of comfort there. She then saw in the parish bulletin that the sisters were looking for graphic design help, and she decided to apply.

“It was really strange because I’m the kind of person who would see something like that and I’d put it aside. I don’t normally act in the moment. I let it sit. And I returned home on Sunday and looked at that and grabbed my computer and sent an email right away. It was really strange how the Spirit just moved everything along. I’m so grateful for that,” says Toni.

At the suggestion of Sister Judy, she then decided to attend a three-day Mission and Movement retreat, an opportunity for lay partners of the sisters to learn more about them.

“It’s like a mini retreat. I learned about their charism, and when I came back, I said, ‘That’s it! That’s it. That’s what I have been seeking. I desire more of this,’” she says. “It was an aha moment. It was really, really big.”

She began spiritual direction with Sister Janet Gagnon, CSJ, sharing with her the connection she felt to the sisters.

“I started in spiritual direction with Sister Janet and shared with her how I feel connected in many ways to people in a certain way and how I desire to live my life and how I was seeking more,” she says. “I had a brief moment where I went, well, could I be a sister? And it’s like, well, no. I’m an only child. I have parents. I have this life that I’ve built in this way.”

Sister Janet shared with the other sisters that Toni was displaying all the qualities of an agrégée, even though she had never heard the term. It led the sisters to discern whether they should explore welcoming agrégées to their community. They had been following the rise of the agrégée relationship in other areas but hadn’t yet considered it for themselves.

“We became aware, oh my gosh, here’s this woman who is basically describing agrégée, and we’ve never talked about it with her. We had a conversation among ourselves, like, OK, are we going to do something about this or not, because we’ve been learning about it,” says Sister Judy.

Toni, too, had to discern whether it was how she was meant to live out the call she was feeling.

“I knew I needed a special kind of relationship with a particular kind of community that could guide me, that could help me along this journey, that could share with me,” she says.

Because the Maine congregation is small, the sisters partnered with the Sisters of St. Joseph in Boston, Massachusetts, who already had an established program.

“They have sisters who work in this. They have other candidates,” explains Sister Judy.

Over her two-year discernment, Toni attended monthly meetings, most of them in Boston but some via Zoom.

“There’s very much learning about yourself and how you embrace your faith and your spirituality and your relationships,” she says.

That includes relationships with other agrégées as well as Sisters of St. Joseph around the world.

“You’re developing these relationships, and so, you’re not staying under the small umbrella. You’re building these relationships and community in a national sense, in a global, large sense. So you realize you’re part of something that is bigger,” says Toni. “I wanted to be an agrégée with the Sisters of St. Joseph of Lyon in Maine and then you start to realize that when you’re an agrégée and you build these relationships, you meet sisters from all over.”

Toni says the experience has greatly benefited her.

“I’m growing in leaps and bounds. I have the blessing of deepening my relationship with God, deepening my relationship with the sisters,” she says. “It’s been a gift for me.”

And it’s becoming a gift for more women. While the program started in the United States and Canada, the sisters are now expanding it worldwide. In 2023, the General Chapter requested that the Maine sector share their experience, and the congregation then decided to formally recognize agrégée as a form of relationship to their charism and to encourage its development.

Sister Judy says she hopes more women in Maine will consider it.

 “We want to let women in the diocese know that this is something that’s available and, if they want to pursue it, to contact us,” says Sister Judy.

If you would like to learn more about the Sisters of St. Joseph of Lyon or becoming an agrégée, you can call the sisters at 207.873.4512 or email them at agregee_info@csjmaine.org.