Auspice Maria: A Letter to Parents during NFP Week 2025

Dear Parents,

This week, the Church observes Natural Family Planning Awareness Week, a time often focused on the beauty of the Church’s teaching on human sexuality and openness to life. But today, I’d like to approach this week from a different, perhaps more foundational perspective—not with charts or methods or terminology, but with a simple encouragement: see, listen to, and love your children.

In our increasingly distracted world, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the assurance that they are known, valued, and cherished. Before they can embrace Church teaching on love, sexuality, or vocation, they need to experience love—not as an idea, but through a relationship. And the first and most important relationship is the one in your home, with you.

Many of you may be concerned about what you see in young people today: self-absorption, attention-seeking behavior, social media obsession, and even a seeming indifference to deeper truths. Sometimes these behaviors appear narcissistic—self-centered, superficial, or even arrogant.

But let’s pause and ask: What is narcissism?

Psychologists tell us that narcissism is more than a personality flaw. It is often a psychological defense—a means of protecting oneself from deep-seated feelings of inadequacy, shame, or fear. Narcissism isn’t primarily pride—it’s pain. It’s a fragile, frightened heart hiding behind a loud voice. And for many children and adolescents, it’s a desperate cry: “See me. Know me. Love me.”

The very word narcissism comes from a myth that still speaks to us. Narcissus was a beautiful young man in Greek mythology who rejected the love of others. As punishment, the gods caused him to fall in love with his reflection in a still pool of water. He was captivated by the image but unable to connect with it. He wasted away, alone and unloved, gazing into the illusion of himself.

It’s tragic but familiar. Many young people today are gazing into a kind of mirror—screens, likes, and filtered images—longing for affirmation but receiving only fleeting reflections. They’re not truly seen. And perhaps they’re afraid that if they were, they wouldn’t be loved.

Parents, that’s why you matter so much. An antidote to narcissism isn’t shaming or moralizing. It’s relationship. It’s presence. It’s love. Your children don’t need perfect parents. They need present parents. They need you to sit with them, laugh with them, ask about their day, and talk with them about the deeper things of life.

Let me say this gently but directly: we cannot avoid conversations about sexuality, identity, and love. If we don’t speak, the culture surely will—and often does, loudly, persuasively, and destructively. The Church teaches that sexual intimacy is a sacred gift, created by God for the context of marriage, where love is total, faithful, fruitful, and free. Many young people engage in premarital sexual activity, not because they are immoral, but because they are searching for love, or acting out a distorted version of it—one that sees love as use, not gift.

What are the consequences? Often, pain. A lowered sense of self-worth. A feeling of being treated—and treating others—as a commodity, something to be consumed rather than cherished.

Your precious children are not commodities. They are unrepeatable persons, created in the image of God, with a capacity for deep love and lifelong commitment. Parents, you know this better than anyone else. You see their beauty, their potential, their goodness. Please tell them. Show them.

So, this week, in honor of Natural Family Planning Awareness Week, I’m not asking you to start with catechesis or moral theology. I’m simply asking you to give your children something more basic—and more powerful.

• Put your agenda aside, and make them the agenda.
• Spend extra time with them.
• Talk to them about real things.
• Affirm that they are seen, known, and loved.

As you do, the deeper conversations about sexuality, vocation, relationships, and the meaning of life will begin to open naturally. And you will fulfill your sacred role of being the first and most important teachers of your children in the ways of faith, truth, and love.

The world is noisy and often confusing, but your home can be a sanctuary of clarity, trust, and love. Your presence matters. Your voice matters. Your love plants the seeds that will bear fruit for generations to come. Thank you. God bless you.

Sincerely yours in Christ,

Bishop James T. Ruggieri